I think most women are born with the shopping gene, but for those of you who have had it stomped on - put your stilettos on and do some stomping back! There's nothing that calms the emotions, soothes the ego and unruffles feathers more than a full day of throwing caution to the wind and spending a ton of money on yourself!
I don't know why, but ordering your own limo, getting something frivolous for yourself, having a couple of martinis, filling shopping bags with stuff you don't need and maybe even taking in a romantic comedy along the way all combine to put a smile on any true Diva's face!
So here's my list - in order and with tongue firmly in cheek - of how to waste a day spending money and pampering yourself:
- Order up your own limo and driver for the day. Parking is a pain and alcohol is in the itinerary! One day of a limo rental is a lot less expensive than a DUI!
- First, pick out your clothes the night before. You'll want something that makes you look mah-vee-lous, dahling, but it has to be comfortable too - take the stilettos in a bag (for cocktail hour at the end of the day) but wear some more sensible shoes! Running from one boutique to another is not high-heeled activity!
- Then, get a good night's sleep prior to D-Day (that's Diva Day here in Divaville!). You'll need the rest!
- Is your limo here with your very young and attractive wannabe actor/chauffeur yet? Good. Let's start our D-Day Shopathon!
- You'll want to look good for your D-Day so, after a lovely stop for a nice mocha latte, head right to the spa for a hair styling, some war paint and a mani-pedi. Now, you're looking good and no witch shopgirl at any chi-chi boutique would dare snub you!
- It's probably around lunchtime now so head off to your favorite bistro for a wonderful gourmet salad and a nice glass of chardonnay.
- Now that you're refreshed and properly warm and fuzzy from your wine it's time to shop!
- The shopping must buys for a D-Day are: One article of clothing that is not practical, One pair of divine shoes that make your legs look stupendous, a box of very expensive chocolates, something goofy that makes you laugh and a little gift for your BFF. These are mandatory purchases - everything else is gratis!
- You are a DIVA, you do not shop in malls! Go to the ritzy part of town and hit the snooty, upscale boutiques! Remember to keep your nose highly elevated and drawl this often, "oh, that's just too Paris Hilton for me!" then put it back like it's smelly trash - this will put the witchy shopgirls in their place!
- Do not pay cash. Cash is the money of the poor, unhip class. You use only platinum plastic!
- Are your shopping bags full yet? Okay, then now it's time to take a little break and see a movie or enjoy a nice twelve dollar fruit smoothie. Ah, wasn't that a good break?
- Oh, look! It's time to pretend shop for cars! Get yourself right over to the foreign car dealer and (now's the time for those stilettos!) saunter around the Ferraris and Aston Martins like you just can't make up your mind. If you've sauntered right and your stilettos look like Jimmy Choos you'll hook a salesman and maybe score a test drive! At the end of the test drive, when the salesman starts getting pushy tell him to give you a card and your business manager will call him, then saunter back on out of the dealership to your waiting limo.
- You are now into the solid Cocktail Hour so head yourself right over to the hippest little martini bar in town and order up a designer martini - my favorite lately has been the Lemon Drop Martin. A nice plate of appetizers would be a perfect way to deal with that peckish feeling in your tummy and let you have just one more little 'tini before heading home.
- Back in the limo? Great, now relax, kick off your shoes and enjoy the quiet of the limo on the way home.